Firm or stubborn?

This is a true case that posted two learning lessons.

A is the principal of a music center who wants to seek cooperation with B, person-in-charge of another music school, to run a music course. The discussion comes into some disagreement on few issues. B wanted to hold the deposit till the last month if the student decided not to continue the learning anymore. B has the reason to do so as the music school has experience teachers going away without informing and the music school has to face the parents.

However, A holds on to his own view and stand firm on his request that the deposit to be divided on the first month itself. The decision came about from the experience that at the last month, the clerk at the music school might have already resigned and new person who took over might not know the history, and it is troublesome to go through the searching of receipt to ensure the deposit has been paid before by the students.

Conveying the message from A to B, B has commented that A is very firm on his decision and agreed to bring this up to their higher management for discussion.

Learning Lesson 1:
B has sparked the lesson on saying that A is very firm. Indeed, I agreed with B. While relaying the message from B to A, I have thought that why A can’t just step back one step and agreed on B’s suggestion. In that case, much problem will be solved and A and B can work together to run the music course. If I were A, I will have agreed and start the course.

However, if look from the point of ‘do not satisfy for less, and you will get what you asked for’, A will get what he asked for because he is firm on what he wants and will not settle for less.

Initially I was thinking about being firm with what we want, and we will get what we want. But on further thought, we can call that as firm; it might be labeled as stubborn too. Where is the line between firm and stubborn?

Learning Lesson 2:
While talking to A about B’s request and views, there was some irritation and frustration that is running in the mind. It manifested out in the speech and action that inquire A to talk to B directly. Back in the mind, there is judgment and blame on A for his not wanting to even take one step back.

I supposed, what is more important for learning in this situation should be what is more real to me at the moment: which is observing the irritation and frustration that arisen in the mind while talking to A, rather than learning whether his is firm or stubborn, which is out of my control and out of my mind to know.

While I am busy analyzing whether that is firm or stubborn, I miss the chance to learn what is occurring in the mind. Why is it irritated? How is irritation like? How it affect the action and speech? Why is the irritation arise? Is it because I am expecting some thing and it is not fulfilled?

Happenings in life give us numerous learning opportunities. It depends on one’s wisdom and discernment to spot the lessons and learn it fast and wise.