Those who have some background in Buddhism should have heard about the story of Angulimala, the one who hunt for finger bones for his teacher due to some conspiracy his peers made upon him.
While hunting for the last finger bone, Angulimala met the Buddha. And the phrase that stopped Angulimala from continuing his killing and served as a turning point from a devil to saint was “I had already stopped. Why are you still running?” (Refer to the Buddhist text for the complete story and details.)
Previously, when reading or listening to this story, what I understood on the phrase ‘I had already stopped’ is that the Buddha has abandoned all the searching and chasing to satisfy and fulfill the desires.
Only recently while observing the mind did I realized that there is another explanation for the word ‘stopped’. If we are able to observe and watch the mind impartially without getting involved, we can see that the mind is moving all the time, wandering, thinking and going from here to there. It never ends and never rest. There is so much noise because of this. But we have been so accustomed to it that hardly do we realize there is so much unsettledness and restlessness in the mind.
One experience of the unrest mind: one of my colleagues who was a service engineer 2 years ago has been promoted to become Project Manager. After two years, that is recently, he has again being promoted to be Senior Project Manager. And due to the Operation Manager is resigning, he again, not even warm his seat of Senior Project Manager has again being promoted to Operation Manager.
Upon knowing this, the mind moved and starts to think that how come some people has such a good chance and able to be promoted so fast in such a short time? There is question in the mind if the person is really so capable? Is he really so good or just being lucky? Here, the mind was moved by jealousy, self-pity, and the like.
But, being a ‘spiritual’ person who has learned so many compassionate and rejoicing in other’s success principles, I should be happy for the person’s promotion isn’t it? So, the mind move to the other direction and think that I should congratulate him, should be happy for him.
All these constitute the thinking and moving around of the mind. It is so conditioned that it keeps moving from this end to that end, incessantly, day in and day out. Starting from only one incident, it has moved around the world. So amazing!!
Once I observed the incessant movement of the mind, then only I realized that ‘I had stopped’ uttered by the Buddha could mean that the mind has stopped. It is no more moving so involuntarily, so automatically, without stopping.
Once the mind stopped moving, it is quietness, silence and indeed peace.
The sad truth is, although seeing this and understands about it, the mind still habitually falls into thinking and wandering and moving. The wisdom is not yet strong enough to cut the root of the habit. The journey still continues on.
The Buddha had stopped, why am I still chasing???
