It is crucial to maintain an open-mindedness and receptive attitude under any kind of circumstances. If one is too confident and sure about what one knows, there tends to be a lot of information and knowledge one miss.
Many times, when I received some information either through discussion or reading, the mind will automatically contemplate and learn to understand. And always, the mind will have its own idea, its own view, which might be agreeable or sometimes conflict with other’s view.
I would like to express my viewpoints, and at times, will think that others have not really understood as what I have understood. My writings have sometimes expressed the view I had after some discussion.
However, it happen so frequently that possibly after another day, the mind will understand the content of discussion differently. And others’ viewpoints about what had been discussed have its truth as well. It is not totally incorrect or lack in any sense.
Quoting the simile of the blind men who want to know how elephant is like, each one of us in fact understands the same situation from a different perspective. Each of us is right in certain way, but unless and until we gather all the information, seeing the total picture of the situation, we could not claim that we are the only one who is right and others wrong.
For this, I learned that it is very important and useful to be open-minded, receptive, and allowing so that I can absorb and receive knowledge and information gracefully. In that sense, understanding of the whole picture or overview of the situation will be complete.
As a jigsaw puzzle, I am only holding a piece of it. And the other pieces are in the hands of others. I can only get the jigsaw puzzle complete if I accept the pieces from others. If I think that I am holding the one and only clue, reject views from others, then I will never be able to get the truth totally.
That is why now I learned to be more receptive, to incorporate what others understand and blend in with what the mind here has understood.
Hopefully then, the path towards freedom is accelerated with more gracefulness and ease.
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
Sunday, August 22, 2010
Giving and letting go
Before we started the weekly group sitting last week, we had some discussion on giving. Giving, or rather generosity to be more accurate, is one of the perfection according to Buddha’s teaching.
There were exchange of ideas and opinions on giving among the group, mostly regarding on why we give. We had discussed on the reasons we give, it could be due to fear, due to frustration, due to some belief and others. To some, giving is to alleviate the suffering of those in need.
The focus of the discussion has been on giving. However, interpreting what I heard that day, the center theme of giving is more incline to a physical action that a person is handling a tangible object to someone else. To me, the perfection advocate by the Buddha is more on letting go. And this is a mental process, a mental training rather than a physical action.
What is the motivation for us to give? What is the mind state before, during and after giving? This, to me is more worthy of observation and understanding than whether we will gain merits if we give.
Bear in mind that the main purpose of generosity is the training of letting go. And remember that in truth there is nothing in this world that belong to us other that our own belief of it so. While giving, it is imperative to watch and observe the mind, whether letting go did occur. Are we still holding on to the things that have been given away? Are there expectations on the results on the giving?
If we are still expecting to gain some merits, or still feel angry if the receiver didn’t shown any gratefulness, then it can be quite sure to say that generosity (in the context of letting go) has not occur. More training is required.
Instead of focusing on the physical process: I am seeing there is a need, and I am giving this away, to alleviate the suffering; it is more beneficial to observe the mind process. What is the motivation before giving? While giving, how does the mind see the receiver? Is the mind judge the receiver in an inferior position? How does the mind relate to the things that it gives away? Is the mind wanting the things that it gives away to be used in the particular way it expect? What are the thoughts running in the mind in the whole process?
If one were to be aware and observe the mind during the giving process, and understand deeply on the purpose of giving, which is letting go and detachment, then one is really reside in the realm of non-attachment and practice true giving.
However, if one observes that the mind still holds on to the results and having expectations, does it mean that the giving is totally void and useless? Of course not. Merely by the fact that one is able to observe the mental process carries merit. Seeing these mental processes is itself wisdom at work. What is needed is more training.
That, to me, is the practice of giving. Giving in a physical means, but training of letting go, in terms of the mind, is the core.
There were exchange of ideas and opinions on giving among the group, mostly regarding on why we give. We had discussed on the reasons we give, it could be due to fear, due to frustration, due to some belief and others. To some, giving is to alleviate the suffering of those in need.
The focus of the discussion has been on giving. However, interpreting what I heard that day, the center theme of giving is more incline to a physical action that a person is handling a tangible object to someone else. To me, the perfection advocate by the Buddha is more on letting go. And this is a mental process, a mental training rather than a physical action.
What is the motivation for us to give? What is the mind state before, during and after giving? This, to me is more worthy of observation and understanding than whether we will gain merits if we give.
Bear in mind that the main purpose of generosity is the training of letting go. And remember that in truth there is nothing in this world that belong to us other that our own belief of it so. While giving, it is imperative to watch and observe the mind, whether letting go did occur. Are we still holding on to the things that have been given away? Are there expectations on the results on the giving?
If we are still expecting to gain some merits, or still feel angry if the receiver didn’t shown any gratefulness, then it can be quite sure to say that generosity (in the context of letting go) has not occur. More training is required.
Instead of focusing on the physical process: I am seeing there is a need, and I am giving this away, to alleviate the suffering; it is more beneficial to observe the mind process. What is the motivation before giving? While giving, how does the mind see the receiver? Is the mind judge the receiver in an inferior position? How does the mind relate to the things that it gives away? Is the mind wanting the things that it gives away to be used in the particular way it expect? What are the thoughts running in the mind in the whole process?
If one were to be aware and observe the mind during the giving process, and understand deeply on the purpose of giving, which is letting go and detachment, then one is really reside in the realm of non-attachment and practice true giving.
However, if one observes that the mind still holds on to the results and having expectations, does it mean that the giving is totally void and useless? Of course not. Merely by the fact that one is able to observe the mental process carries merit. Seeing these mental processes is itself wisdom at work. What is needed is more training.
That, to me, is the practice of giving. Giving in a physical means, but training of letting go, in terms of the mind, is the core.
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
Strict and Stern Words..... (2)
The second incident happened when I was attending a meditation retreat in Myanmar also about 2 years ago. While in this particular retreat, sleepiness during sitting meditation is the main obstacle.
I was there for a month and almost during every interview with the teacher, I reported about sleepiness in my sitting. The teacher had been patiently listening and giving some guidance.
On the last interview before I came back, again I was talking about sleepiness that I faced. To my surprise, the teacher said something like ‘you can go back to Malaysia and sleep as you like’. Hearing this, I was feeling inferior. I was thinking how come the teacher got no more compassion towards me? How come the teacher didn’t try to rescue me? Has the teacher feeling frustrated and given up on me and seeing me as hopeless and he didn’t want to help me anymore?
There was a lot of inferior and fear thinking happening.
But now, without judging and focusing only on what the teacher said, I am able to look at what had happened from a different perspective. The stern and seemingly strict and not compassionate words from the teacher have indeed served as a wakeup call that dig deeper into the subconscious idea this mind is having.
There has always been a ‘poor me’, ‘pity me’ syndrome happening in this mind and it manifested in the behavior of always needing others to make decision for me. There is a belief of I am useless, hopeless, helpless and don’t know how to come out from the deep pit, please come and rescue me, save me. This idea and belief has been rooted so deeply in the mind.
Now, the teacher has admonished in a different way. In fact, he has given all the teaching, the methods and the necessary tools. But if I am not going to apply it accordingly, he won’t be able to save me. A teacher is only showing the way. What I had in the mind is wanting the teacher to walk the way for me, which is impossible.
After coming back from the retreat, the mind has actually conditioned to be more aware and conscious on the arising of the sleepy thoughts. In other words, the mind is wiser to apply right effort in the practice.
In this manner, I am again feeling grateful to the teacher’s stern and strict admonishment. Without that, I could still be like a little child who always waiting others to do what I am supposed to do myself. I will not grow, so to speak.
After these two incident, the mind has grow, in a way, and become more mature.
Therefore, if stern and strict admonishment has been aimed on us, do not fear it, do not resist it. It could be our great teacher for us to reflect upon, for us to move forward and grow in strength.
I was there for a month and almost during every interview with the teacher, I reported about sleepiness in my sitting. The teacher had been patiently listening and giving some guidance.
On the last interview before I came back, again I was talking about sleepiness that I faced. To my surprise, the teacher said something like ‘you can go back to Malaysia and sleep as you like’. Hearing this, I was feeling inferior. I was thinking how come the teacher got no more compassion towards me? How come the teacher didn’t try to rescue me? Has the teacher feeling frustrated and given up on me and seeing me as hopeless and he didn’t want to help me anymore?
There was a lot of inferior and fear thinking happening.
But now, without judging and focusing only on what the teacher said, I am able to look at what had happened from a different perspective. The stern and seemingly strict and not compassionate words from the teacher have indeed served as a wakeup call that dig deeper into the subconscious idea this mind is having.
There has always been a ‘poor me’, ‘pity me’ syndrome happening in this mind and it manifested in the behavior of always needing others to make decision for me. There is a belief of I am useless, hopeless, helpless and don’t know how to come out from the deep pit, please come and rescue me, save me. This idea and belief has been rooted so deeply in the mind.
Now, the teacher has admonished in a different way. In fact, he has given all the teaching, the methods and the necessary tools. But if I am not going to apply it accordingly, he won’t be able to save me. A teacher is only showing the way. What I had in the mind is wanting the teacher to walk the way for me, which is impossible.
After coming back from the retreat, the mind has actually conditioned to be more aware and conscious on the arising of the sleepy thoughts. In other words, the mind is wiser to apply right effort in the practice.
In this manner, I am again feeling grateful to the teacher’s stern and strict admonishment. Without that, I could still be like a little child who always waiting others to do what I am supposed to do myself. I will not grow, so to speak.
After these two incident, the mind has grow, in a way, and become more mature.
Therefore, if stern and strict admonishment has been aimed on us, do not fear it, do not resist it. It could be our great teacher for us to reflect upon, for us to move forward and grow in strength.
Thursday, August 12, 2010
Strict and stern words....... (1)
Many of us only like to hear appearing and pleasurable words. No exception here. When we hear nice words and praise from the others, we feel happy and elated. On the contrary, if some one admonish us, some one speak with more stern voice and strict words, we feel challenge, we feel threaten, we feel misunderstood, and become miserable.
However, stern and strict words are not all the time harmful or hurting if we can use that as a way for contemplation and look within to grow.
I have two experience in this which can be share with all and hopefully when people admonish us next time, we will have the wisdom and willingness to look back into our mind, look back into our behavior and check if there is any thing good which can come out from there.
About 2 years ago, I attended a 10-day workshop with a group of friends. Nearing the ending of the workshop, we have decided to offer gifts to the participants on the last day as souvenir for them to bring back and serve as reminder to the lessons that we have learned. However, to prepare the gifts, which we choose to make it ourselves rather than just buy from the shelves, we got to stay late in the night. And it was way pass my normal sleeping hours.
Half way in the process, I said that I was too sleepy and not able to think already. Then this friend made a remark that ‘the mind which always thinks of sleep can’t have wisdom’. Hearing the words, I was feeling some irritation and anger, feeling being insulted. I was blaming the person that it was true that I was feeling sleepy as the time is approaching 12 midnight and not that I am always thinking about sleep.
That was how I felt at that time.
However, after came back from the workshop and further contemplating on what I heard that night ‘the mind that always think of sleep can’t have wisdom’, it serve as a strong reminder to observe and note the mind which has been so habitually having sleep thoughts. The mind that has thoughts about sleep is very dull, inactive, blur, lethargy and lack of alertness. This kind of mind state is not conducive for mindfulness and awareness practice.
So now, whenever there is a sleepy thought, the mind will check whether it is true. Is it just a thought? Is it really tired? How is the mental state at that time?
At current state, I am actually feeling thankful to that friend who has said that remark. It helps to be more conscious and raise a condition for more investigative mind rather than just follow a ‘sleepy thought’.
Strict and stern words are not always hurtful if we could use that as a tool to improve ourselves and becoming more aware and alert.
~~~ to be continued….
However, stern and strict words are not all the time harmful or hurting if we can use that as a way for contemplation and look within to grow.
I have two experience in this which can be share with all and hopefully when people admonish us next time, we will have the wisdom and willingness to look back into our mind, look back into our behavior and check if there is any thing good which can come out from there.
About 2 years ago, I attended a 10-day workshop with a group of friends. Nearing the ending of the workshop, we have decided to offer gifts to the participants on the last day as souvenir for them to bring back and serve as reminder to the lessons that we have learned. However, to prepare the gifts, which we choose to make it ourselves rather than just buy from the shelves, we got to stay late in the night. And it was way pass my normal sleeping hours.
Half way in the process, I said that I was too sleepy and not able to think already. Then this friend made a remark that ‘the mind which always thinks of sleep can’t have wisdom’. Hearing the words, I was feeling some irritation and anger, feeling being insulted. I was blaming the person that it was true that I was feeling sleepy as the time is approaching 12 midnight and not that I am always thinking about sleep.
That was how I felt at that time.
However, after came back from the workshop and further contemplating on what I heard that night ‘the mind that always think of sleep can’t have wisdom’, it serve as a strong reminder to observe and note the mind which has been so habitually having sleep thoughts. The mind that has thoughts about sleep is very dull, inactive, blur, lethargy and lack of alertness. This kind of mind state is not conducive for mindfulness and awareness practice.
So now, whenever there is a sleepy thought, the mind will check whether it is true. Is it just a thought? Is it really tired? How is the mental state at that time?
At current state, I am actually feeling thankful to that friend who has said that remark. It helps to be more conscious and raise a condition for more investigative mind rather than just follow a ‘sleepy thought’.
Strict and stern words are not always hurtful if we could use that as a tool to improve ourselves and becoming more aware and alert.
~~~ to be continued….
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
The way out.....
How long has life been lead by defilement? Every time when an object impinge on one of the senses, have you observed how automatic the mind react, motivated by defilements such as anger, pride, jealous, ill-will, despair, resentment and many more?
It is strange to observe that a seemingly harmless object, such as a person that appears in front of us, can trigger many reactions in us. The mind can suddenly become angry, or despise the person. Many times, the mind judges the person, on his clothing, his behaviour, his action, etc. But, have we contemplate further whether the judgment is due to the person or because of the thoughts arising in our own mind?
While driving in a situation where there is traffic congestion, are we able to observe that there will be irritation? And are we capable to know that the dirty words, harsh words that come out from the mouth are due to this irritation? Can we know that at this time, we have been lead by defilements by the nose? We just follow what the defilements ask us to do without questioning. We are indeed a very obedient follower of defilements.
Our life has actually been conditioned by defilements. If we observe carefully, beneath each thought, each action, there is defilement. Most actions and thoughts are motivated by defilement. And thus, there is suffering. Without looking at the root cause, we try to avoid the dis-ease by running after what we think can bring us happiness. And following behind, without fail, are the defilements.
Is there any way out? Of course! The great masters of the past have shown the way. What I choose to follow is the way of awareness and mindfulness. By being aware, we are able to observe the mind impartially and then able to understand how the mind works. With the understanding, the wisdom knows the mind inside out, and no more will the mind follows the defilements.
What to aspire here is to have 100% awareness, every moment, with 100% alertness and awakeness.
It is strange to observe that a seemingly harmless object, such as a person that appears in front of us, can trigger many reactions in us. The mind can suddenly become angry, or despise the person. Many times, the mind judges the person, on his clothing, his behaviour, his action, etc. But, have we contemplate further whether the judgment is due to the person or because of the thoughts arising in our own mind?
While driving in a situation where there is traffic congestion, are we able to observe that there will be irritation? And are we capable to know that the dirty words, harsh words that come out from the mouth are due to this irritation? Can we know that at this time, we have been lead by defilements by the nose? We just follow what the defilements ask us to do without questioning. We are indeed a very obedient follower of defilements.
Our life has actually been conditioned by defilements. If we observe carefully, beneath each thought, each action, there is defilement. Most actions and thoughts are motivated by defilement. And thus, there is suffering. Without looking at the root cause, we try to avoid the dis-ease by running after what we think can bring us happiness. And following behind, without fail, are the defilements.
Is there any way out? Of course! The great masters of the past have shown the way. What I choose to follow is the way of awareness and mindfulness. By being aware, we are able to observe the mind impartially and then able to understand how the mind works. With the understanding, the wisdom knows the mind inside out, and no more will the mind follows the defilements.
What to aspire here is to have 100% awareness, every moment, with 100% alertness and awakeness.
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