Giving and letting go

Before we started the weekly group sitting last week, we had some discussion on giving. Giving, or rather generosity to be more accurate, is one of the perfection according to Buddha’s teaching.

There were exchange of ideas and opinions on giving among the group, mostly regarding on why we give. We had discussed on the reasons we give, it could be due to fear, due to frustration, due to some belief and others. To some, giving is to alleviate the suffering of those in need.

The focus of the discussion has been on giving. However, interpreting what I heard that day, the center theme of giving is more incline to a physical action that a person is handling a tangible object to someone else. To me, the perfection advocate by the Buddha is more on letting go. And this is a mental process, a mental training rather than a physical action.

What is the motivation for us to give? What is the mind state before, during and after giving? This, to me is more worthy of observation and understanding than whether we will gain merits if we give.

Bear in mind that the main purpose of generosity is the training of letting go. And remember that in truth there is nothing in this world that belong to us other that our own belief of it so. While giving, it is imperative to watch and observe the mind, whether letting go did occur. Are we still holding on to the things that have been given away? Are there expectations on the results on the giving?

If we are still expecting to gain some merits, or still feel angry if the receiver didn’t shown any gratefulness, then it can be quite sure to say that generosity (in the context of letting go) has not occur. More training is required.

Instead of focusing on the physical process: I am seeing there is a need, and I am giving this away, to alleviate the suffering; it is more beneficial to observe the mind process. What is the motivation before giving? While giving, how does the mind see the receiver? Is the mind judge the receiver in an inferior position? How does the mind relate to the things that it gives away? Is the mind wanting the things that it gives away to be used in the particular way it expect? What are the thoughts running in the mind in the whole process?

If one were to be aware and observe the mind during the giving process, and understand deeply on the purpose of giving, which is letting go and detachment, then one is really reside in the realm of non-attachment and practice true giving.

However, if one observes that the mind still holds on to the results and having expectations, does it mean that the giving is totally void and useless? Of course not. Merely by the fact that one is able to observe the mental process carries merit. Seeing these mental processes is itself wisdom at work. What is needed is more training.

That, to me, is the practice of giving. Giving in a physical means, but training of letting go, in terms of the mind, is the core.