During one of the meditation retreat discussion with the teacher, the teacher mentioned that when yogis (those who practice meditation) reported to him they have a good sitting, he will be worry for the yogis. It is strange. I thought that teachers will be happy because the students show some progress. And I asked the teacher why. He said that when some one said he has a good sitting, the mind will hold on to the good experience and the next sitting, the yogis will suffer because he is expecting another good sitting.
It was a bit bewildered for me and I don’t really get what the teacher meant until last night when I was sitting comfortably in my cozy room reading a book. At that moment, the mind was feeling very pleasurable and thought that this is very comfortable. At the same time, another thought of judging the small inn I was staying the previous two nights was very un-comfortable and in a way, scaring as it is dirty and dark and rumored to be haunted.
Suddenly the mind realized, it was holding on to the current pleasurable and comfort experience. When this happened, immediately back in the subconscious, there is disliking of the opposite. We as human beings like pleasure and comfortable feeling. When there is liking, automatically disliking arises. No exception. And then I remember and understand what TL, a good friend cum teacher told me before, it is like the two side of the coins, they always come together, you can’t want one side and don’t want the other.
In other words, in this realm, this world, pleasure and un-pleasure feeling, comfortable and uncomfortable experiences are naturally exist. With the blessing of the senses of seeing, hearing, tasting, smelling, touching and feeling, we will be experiencing both. In fact, there is nothing wrong with both kinds of experiences. But once there is grasping towards the pleasurable, suffering follows. And a dislike seed has been planted towards the unpleasant.
Suffering follows in terms of both wanting the good, and resisting the bad. In so many occasions, I have overlooked this kind of mind working, not recognizing the seed of hatred has been planted. With awareness training, the mind is more quiet and calm and able to catch how ideas and opinions have been formed towards the unpleasant while experiencing the pleasant.
With the observation and noticing without any judgment and criticism, then there is no more holding on towards the pleasant and aversion towards the unpleasant. There comes in peace and tranquility. That is why the Buddha advocates on equanimity as the route to liberation.
But then, does it mean this being here always live in such kind of bliss state? Obviously no because the mind has been conditioned so much in wanting and not wanting. However, by being able to have a brief glimpse of how the mind works, it opens up a wider door of faith and trust for the practicing to continue.
It is not a destiny, it is a journey.
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