Conspiracy of the mind

I found a very strange conspiracy of this mind…

When the mind was feeling disturb, such as somebody has place a comment on me, and I don’t like it, there will be turbulence in the mind. It is a very unpleasant experience. The mind is not peaceful and not at ease. In another word, it can be said that the mind caught a dis-ease.

Automatically as a consequence, the mind will start looking for somebody to talk to, to try to spread its uncomfortable feelings away. When I look deeper, it is actually a way that the mind uses to run away, to cover up the uncomfortable feelings. By talking to someone, it can temporarily forget its uneasiness. It diverts the attention by complaining to others.

And most of the time the mind chooses to pour its dissatisfaction to someone whom the mind trust, someone who has shown care before, or someone deem more wise.

I had tried before to just be aware of this urge to call a good friend than to compulsively call the person. It is from this just be and paying attention that I saw the conspiracy of the mind: The conspiracy to spread the negative energy, to complain, to run away from its own uneasiness. It is selfish in a way because the mind is trying to share its load with another person. However, no matter how much the other could hear you, the issue will not be solved, nor the hurt feelings and painful experience in the mind.

Sooner or later, when there is another unwelcome comment, the mind will automatically run it conspiracy and call another person to complain and let loose the negative energy again.

What is more insightful when paying attention in such a manner is that the realization of some latent ideas and beliefs that cause the pain. There is always expectation, and also a desire to be good which is not fulfill laying beneath the hurt feelings. Without the expectation, there won’t be any disturbance.

What shows up in the world is in fact a belief deep rooted in the mind. So the world is you, and no one is out there. To heal and free, pay attention to what you see and what you experience. Once you experience freedom, the mind is liberated; else, continue with the practice.